Sunday, July 13, 2008

Movie Reviews: The Happening, Hancock, WALL-E

Tonight I thought I'd write some movie reviews interspersed, or even nestled, amongst some little tidbits about my personal life. Saving the best for last, we would of course start with the M. Night Shamalayan piece of shit that I was stupid enough to spend money and 90 minutes on... The Happening: Wow, it sucks. Not that I'm surprised. M. Night Shamalayan is the watchword for not-worth-watching, unless you're re-watching The Sixth Sense, which is permitted. So, The Happening should be called "When Trees Do Even Worse Things to You than Cause Hayfever, and It's Not So Much Scary as Really Annoying, and Even Mark Wahlberg Cannot Make the Insipid Dialogue Work."

Speaking of hayfever, I've got it bad. The 20-40 kleenex per hour (kph) kind, three kinds of allergy medecine at once, the kind where I have to breathe through my mouth for fear of upsetting my pathetic nostrils kind of hayfever. It's funny how it always coincides with the really hot weather. So it's 85 degrees and I don't have AC, and if I open the window it just lets in more filthy pollinated air which will kill me if I allow it to. If I were a magazine centerfold, perhaps my turn-ons list would be something like this: Hepa-filtered, anything hypoallergenic, air conditioning, non-drowsy antihistamines. Turn offs: Dextromethorphane, dust mites, grass, and picnics in the park.

Hancock: A run-of-the-mill Will Smith action movie. Which means that it was pretty good -- never terrible or amazing. It starts of very well and then just kind of ... meh? Charlize Theron plays a superhero too. What I don't get is why, when she goes into superhero mode, does that necessarily mean she has to wear so much additional eye shadow?

I watched the previous two movies with Alex in Aruba. So I was in an amazing place with my husband and we went to see two mediocre at best movies, but it was good because it was so nice just to relax and not have to worry about a thing. The one I watched today, WALL-E, was with Marcus at Pacific Place cinemas. We went to the movie theater just so I could escape the disgusting plant sex and microscopic dust mites that are plaguing me. And I wound up inadvertantly seeing a very good movie.

WALL-E: This movie is really great. It's got the dystopian nightmare scenario that I love, AND Robot Romance. It's one of the very, very few really interesting movies I've seen lately. Go Pixar!!

Alex is in Yakima for his job, which is prepping 3500 National Guardsmen for deployment to Iraq. He's a JAG lawyer, which means that sometimes he's doing desk work like a regular lawyer, but other times he's out shooting bad guys with machine guns and rescuing people from hostile territory by helicopter and infiltrating terrorist hotspots, where he wears a wire to collect evidence to get those terrorists! It's awesome. And then the rest of the time, he just really helps out these poor dudes who have to go to Iraq by getting them wills and helping them sort out their child custody/divorce issues, and other uber important stuff. So, I'm supposed to go to Yakima for a few days this week for my birthday. "Happy Birthday" and "Yakima" don't really seem to go together, but what can you do?

So, July. Really important month for me. Alex is in Yakima for the rest of the month, which is terrible. My biggest plans for July are to deal with all the wedding stuff, all the thank you cards, name change documentation, moving from Marcus's place, putting stuff in storage, and prepping to rent Alex's condo, and looking for a new place for us to move --all of this On My Own. I hate it. Newlyweds should not have to do this alone. But, me having things the way I want them isn't always good for me is it?

Besides dealing with the above stuff, I have a couple of other projects going on. I'm helping Ben & Libbe with their wedding, and I'm considering auditioning for some plays and movies, and I'm getting back into working out. I signed up for a half marathon for Labor Day weekend. Things are just humming along. It's basically the usual. Except I'm married now. It's
different, it really is, but I'm not sure why.

More will be revealed.

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