Real Simple = Real Bad?

I have a problem with Real Simple. For one thing, they've gotten way to woman's magaziney with their content. I don't need "morning make-up solutions" or "6 great new ways to do your hair." I don't care what the folks at Real Simple think I should be wearing this fall. There are far more fashionable magazines to get fashion and beauty tips, and I don't need Real Simple to tell me how to do crunches (um, hello? That's why I get Shape.)

But the biggest problem is that the quality of the recipes varies so widely. Last night, I made a recipe from Nov. '09's Real Simple that turned out perfectly. It's listed in their section, "Weeknight Meals," under the subsection "One Pot." Aptly named Roasted Chicken and Carrots with Olives and Lemons, this recipe is truly wonderful! See the end of the article for the recipe reprinted. I highly suggest you try it if you like chicken. It was an easy, no-brainer recipe that even novice cooks could get right. Plus, if you and your spouse don't like the same parts of chicken (for instance, I like white and Alex likes dark), since you're cooking a whole bird, you're both happy.

Heartened by my recent success, I cooked another Real Simple recipe tonight. This was only two pages away from the Roasted Chicken that was so fabulous. But unfortunately, "Steak with Crispy Potatoes and Pistachio Pesto" was not a winner. The steak was good, but I'd be surprised if all of a sudden I couldn't cook a sirloin steak and make it amazing. The crispy potatoes were good. But the two items that were the most work, namely the pistachio pesto and the broccoli rabe, disappointed greatly. The pesto required me to shell a number of pistachios, and while the pesto tasted nice, it was completely overpowered by the steak. This would be much better on a delicate fish, such as halibut. The broccoli rabe required a special trip to Metropolitan Market, where I learned it is pronounced "Rah-Bay. And, it was inedible. I cooked it EXACTLY like the recipe suggested and it came out nothing like it. Maybe broccoli rabe is just no good? Seems strange, considering I like leafy green vegetables like Swiss chard, bok choy, chinese broccoli, and kale. But it wasn't just me. My husband looked incredibly relieved when I declared the broccoli rabe disgusting and threw it in the trash. So, Real Simple approved this recipe that contained two good elements but added one element that was unnecessary and another that was inedible.

That's why I subscribe to Good Housekeeping, despite the fact that the magazine is very dorky and is overly geared towards moms. (By the way, don't moms have their own mom-related magazines? Why does the fact that I want to excel at "housekeeping," including cooking, mean I need to learn about how to resolve fights between kindergartners?) GH has this excellent policy of testing out all their recipes in their test kitchen three times before they'll publish them (oh how I'd love that job!) And so, only one time out of probably 50 or so recipes from GH I've tried has the recipe gone wrong.

Real Simple has great fonts, photography, and some interesting ideas about stain removal and alternative uses for everyday objects. Just don't count 100% on loving dinner if you use their recipes.

Recipe I LOVE (+ my notes):
Roasted chicken and carrots with olives and lemons
1 3 1/2 to 4 lb chicken, cut into pieces (can get them pre-pieced at grocery)
2 lbs carrots, cut into 2 in. pieces (halved lengthwise if thick)
1/2 cup pitted kalamata olives
4 bay leaves
1 lemon, cut into wedges
2 tbsp olive oil
Kosher salt and black pepper
1 tsp paprika

Heat oven to 425. On a large rimmed baking sheet (such as a jelly roll pan), toss chicken, carrots, olives, bay leaves, lemon, oil, 1 tsp salt, and 1/4 tsp pepper. Arrange in a single layer and sprinkle the chicken with the paprika.

Roast, tossing the vegetables once, until the chicken is cooked through and the carrots are tender, about 45 min.

Serve with crispy Caesar salad, if desired.

Pumpkins, pumpkins, pumpkins!

I have a new motto for fall decorating: you can never have too many pumpkins. I thought before that you should only get as many pumpkins as you can carve for Halloween, so probably one, unless you're a staffer for Martha Stewart or something. Now it seems like the more the merrier. And there are so many cute pumpkins you can get -- the white ghost pumpkins, the tiny mini pumpkins, adorable and ugly squashes (which aren't even really pumpkins), and these perfectly sized sugar pumpkins.

Yesterday, I was in a hurry to get the place finished being decorated for Halloween before the kids came by trick-or-treating, and none of my several pumpkins were carved. I had bought all these pumpkins because I had a housewarming party a couple of weeks before Halloween. I've discovered something: uncarved pumkins = fall/harvest. Carved pumpkins= Halloween. Uncarved pumpkins, outside, will last for weeks in the cool fall air. But as soon as you carve them, they quickly begin to fade. That's why I waited until the day Halloween to carve the pumpkins.

Since I was in a hurry, I thought we should do the smaller sugar pumpkins to save time. Boy was I in for a surprise. Apparently the sugar pumpkins are designed for making pies and have much thicker shells -- making them harder to cut than the larger, normal pumpkins. Who knew? So we saved no time there. But we did make a really cute kitty cat and a "Boo!" pumpkin. Note: you must make enough airholes to feed a candle if you're using a real candle, otherwise it will extingish! Learned this the hard way with the "Boo!" pumpkin.

What to do with those seeds? Preheat oven to 350 degrees, and meanwhile clean the seeds using a round sieve and running water. The pumpkin bits go to the bottom. Then dry the seeds with paper towels, and put in a bowl. Add 2 tbsp olive oil (per about two pumpkins worth of seeds), 1 heaping tsp cayenne pepper, 1/2 tsp cumin, and 1 tsp truffle salt. Stir with whisk until all seeds are coated. Pour the seeds on a cookie sheet -- you can use the whisk to spread them around. Roast seeds for about 27 minutes. Voila - spicy, delicious pumpkin seeds!

"Feels Right" Oatmeal Cookies

Baking is something that I'm good at usually because I'm very precise about following directions. However, I've baked so many cookies now that I wondered what would happen if I made cookies based on what "felt right." My husband loves oatmeal raisin cookies, so I decided to try those. I've only ever made oatmeal cookies once, and they were "Oatmeal Scotchies," which have these delicious butterscotch chips. So, I only had a vague idea of how much of each thing to put in, but I just did what felt right. I'm happy to report that Alex thinks they're some of the best he's ever had.

"Feels Right" Oatmeal Cookies
Ingredients:
2 1/2 sticks very soft unsalted butter
2 1/2 cups light brown sugar, packed
2 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 cups oatmeal (quick or old fashioned -- I used old fashioned)
2 cups flour
1 heaping tsp baking powder
1 heaping tsp cinnamon
1/2 level tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/4 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
3/4 cup raisins (optional)
3/4 cup dried apricots, chopped into small bits (optional - for if you or friends don't like raisins)

Put racks in upper third of oven (I was able to cook with both racks for once). In a large bowl, beat butter, brown sugar, and vanilla with electric mixer until fluffy. Add eggs one at a time and beat until fully blended in. Add baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, oats, and flour and mix. Add nuts if you like and beat gently, then, if you want, divide the dough in 1/2, and add raisins to the one half and apricots to the other half. Mix until blended.

Drop rounded tbsps dough on cookie sheets covered by parchment paper. Ensure at least 1 1/2 inch space between cookies to avoid cookie joinage. Bake about 12-14 min, until golden-brown. Cookies will look soft but will firm as they cool. Leave on baking sheet about 2 min, then put on cooling racks.

Makes about 30something awesome cookies.

Nouveau Comfort Food for Depressing Times

I am depressed. I just found out that an old friend died last week. I'm seriously depressed. And I also noticed it's been a month and a half since I last blogged! Wow. So, here's a new blog for your mid-winter blues. Eat your heart out on some nouveau comfort food.

Beef Tenderloin Steaks with Mashed Potatoes and Swiss Chard (The steaks and chard recipes are adapted from Jan. '09 Better Homes and Gardens).
4 6oz beef tenderloin steaks
1 tbsp butter
1 tsp olive oil
4 shallots, halved
3/4 cup beef broth
1 tbsp butter, softened
Snipped flat leaf Italian parsley
Peppercorns (optional)

Sprinkle steaks with salt and pepper. In a large cast iron skillet, heat 1 tbsp butter and the oil over high heat. Brown steak bottoms (1-2). Turn and cook 6 min or more until desired doneness. Remove steaks and keep warm.
Add shallots to skillet. Cook about 5 min, then add beef broth. Scrape skillet to remove browned yummy bits. Whip in that last tbsp of softened butter. Then put the steaks in and dollop the liquid over the top. Throw some snipped Italian parsley on there, and a few peppercorns, if you like. Voila! Bon appetit.

Momma's Mashed Potatoes
While the steaks are cooking, throw about 3 pounds of peeled Yukon gold potatoes (yes, it makes a difference in the taste!), cut into 1" cubes, in a big pot of boiling water. When the potatoes are almost soft, take a stick of butter and 3/4 cup whole milk, and saute over low heat, taking care not to scorch. When the potatoes are fork tender (10-15 mins), drain them in a colander and then put them in a mixing bowl. Use electric beater to smoosh them up, and add generous dashes of salt and pepper. Also dash in some heavy whipping cream until your potatoes are the desired consistency. Delish-eee-ous, I gawrawntee.

While all this is going on, boil up another big ol' pot of water. Take some nice Swiss chard (don't be afraid!) and chop the red stems off. Throw them in the water as soon as it's boiling and let them boil about 4-5 min. Then throw in the leaves and let it all boil about 2 more mins. When chard is tender, strain it in a colander, and drizzle a bit of good olive oil over it, dash with salt and pepper, and also drizzle some yummy vinegar on top. So good that you won't believe you never (or rarely) eat chard!

And what about dessert? What comfort dinner is without dessert? Well, let me introduce you to some cookies I'm really proud of. These are all my own invention.

Heather's Chocolate Caramel Monsters (aka amazingly good everything-but-the kitchen sink cookies)
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup baking cocoa
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
2/3 cup packed dark brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1-12 oz package white chocolate chips
1-12 oz package small round caramel bits
1 1/2 (ish) cups chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 350. Combine flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt in a bowl. Beat butter, sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla extract in very large bowl, until creamy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each egg. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in chips, bits, and nuts. Drop by large rounded tsp on cookie sheets covered in parchment paper.
Bake for about 10 minutes, until set. Cool on sheets for 2-4 min, then move to wire racks. Enjoy, and don't forget to brush your teeth after these. (Your dentist would not be pleased with me if I didn't say that.)

Cook, eat, feel better, repeat as desired.

Ch-ch-ch-cherry Cobbler

This is a mixture of two cobbler recipes, "cobbled" together. Hee. The crust is superb... try it with different fruits. I bet it's amazing with blueberries.

Ingredients:
2 cans Oregon tart pie cherries
1 tbsp cornstarch
1 cup sugar, or to taste
1/4 tsp almond extract
1 1/2 tbsp baking powder
1 1/3 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
8 tbsps (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, cut in small bits
1 egg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

For cherries: drain one can of juice, and put the all the cherries with one can still having juice over low heat. Using a small bit of cold water, dissolve a tbsp of cornstarch separately. Once fully dissolved, add to cherries, stirring gently but constantly with a wooden spoon. Add 1/4 tsp almond extract and 1/2 cup sugar and stir until thick.

Preheat oven to 375.

Grease a 8"x8"x3" glass or earthenware casserole with butter; put cherries at the bottom and set aside.

For dough: whisk dry ingredients including the remaining 1/2 cup of the sugar. Add the 8 tbsp of butter in small bits. Cut the butter in until it's party mixed. Get out your electric mixer and mix in the eggs and vanilla extract until it's all damp. Don't worry about it being all smooth and perfect. That's really against the whole spirit of a cobbler.

Spoon the dough by tablespoonfuls; leave little bits of cherry peeking through. Bake about 35 min until golden yellow and just starting to get brown.

Soooo good. Serve it up hot with vanilla ice cream.

Lawyer, Store Owner, Housewife?

"The Christmas Wife." No, it's not the title of a Lifetime Original Movie. It's me. It's what I was thinking I would call a TV show or movie based on what I've been doing lately. Now that I'm not a "lawyer," and the idea of saying I'm a "writer" just seems ridiculous given how much time I actually spend writing as compared to cooking, I'm not really sure what my identity is. But "wife" will do for now, I suppose. How about "baker"?

My 2009 resolution was to make a perfect cream-based pie. I have to find a new resolution because I did it. It wasn't that hard. Just follow the recipe in Joy of Cooking exactly. That means where it says whole milk, you use whole milk, not skim (who knew milk fats were so important?). Where it says bring to a bare simmer, you don't let that bad boy boil. And for God's sake, where it says to toast the shredded coconut at 300, don't just throw it in the oven at 400 because you already have a freaking lasagna in there and you just figure you can get away with it if you watch it really closely. Nope. Do it EXACTLY like Joy says.

Now, I wish some people actually read this freaking blog, for instance, people who make Red Velvet cakes. Or people who just really know their cake and want to contribute their favorite Red Velvet cake recipe. Because unfortunately, Joy doesn't have a recipe for Red Velvet cake, and I made the one posted by Sara Moulton on the Food Network site. What a terrible disappointment. The icing was great (how can you go wrong with an entire POUND of creamcheese, and the cake was indeed very, very red. It was unfortunately dry, not as tall as I would've liked, and flavorless. I don't think I overbeat the cake, but even if I did, that wouldn't explain the flavorlessness.... I think the recipe just isn't that great. Quantities seem off. You'd be better off buying a Betty Crocker white cake and adding 2 tbsps of red food coloring and a quarter cup of cocoa than making this recipe. But by all means, make the frosting! Just put it on a more worthy cake.

Other recent firsts: first pork chops, first lasagna, first many different types of cookies. Not lemon bars though. Those I've been making for years.

Advice for cooking holiday favorites: play Christmas music really loudly. It makes you feel like you're in this fabulous holiday musical. Wear a holiday apron. Sing along to the music, even the really cheesy songs you don't like. Talk to your pets! You'll feel like Snow White meets It's a Wonderful Life.

Holiday stuff I did lately: a seemingly endless pile of Christmas cards. It took hours; enough to watch the Woody Allen movie Love and Death (very funny send up of Russian lit), two episodes of Emeril Green's cooking show (Cajun cooking was the topic of one. Can't remember the other.), two episodes of Wife Swap (horrifically entertaining), and one episode of a show called the First 48 Hours (unrepentantly grim with major gleams of bleakness). So, like five hours. And I already worked on it a few hours in the preceeding days. Wow. If you didn't get a Christmas card from me, then here's your big "Merry Christmas, Love Heather & Alex." Hope that'll do, because I'm not doing any more.

Previously: Shopping. I'm almost 100% done. Luckily I did it almost all ahead of time. That really, really helps make Christmas more fun. However, I do still have to brave the stores for one last gift. For those of you who haven't begun your shopping yet, all I can say is that I've been there too, and may the Lord have mercy on your souls.

Tomorrow: I have to stamp and mail the freaking cards, wrap the Christmas presents for faraway family, and ship them off. I can't stand packing the presents in boxes... way too much spacial reasoning for my pleasure. Boringly enough, I also have to do some menial chores: laundry, dishes, cleaning. But then there's the thing I really want to do, which is to make a gingerbread house. Guess which one I'm prioritizing? Gingerbread house, I'm gonna make you. I don't care if you're difficult and not all that tasty. A house made out of candy just sounds too sweet not to make.

Tomorrow is pretty typical of my days these days. Is it wrong that I actually kind of like it? I wonder if I should feel guilty that I'm "just" a housewife. Truth is, if there was no money worry attached, it would be a pretty greaqt gig. However, money is an object, and I do wonder if eventually I'd feel unfulfilled or regret leaving the workforce (though never will I regret leaving the public defender office).

So what to do next: I'm thinking of opening a clothing shop. That might be more interesting than being a lawyer. My worries about that are that we might not stay in Tacoma. It wouldn't make sense to start a shop here if we're moving back to Seattle (or elsewhere). But I have a lot of experience with retail and I do love clothes, and I love business, and it would be a great thing to be my own boss. But then there's that worrying voice in my head that says, "What about the economy? Are you seriously considering starting a small business during this terrible economic downturn?" and "You could make so much more money being a lawyer!"

Oh, and in case you've been reading long enough to know that I have been considering starting a wedding planning business, I still think it's a great idea, but my location is not ideal for it. I don't have many contacts in Tacoma yet, and I'm just a leetel to far for it to make sense to commute to my clients and vendors up in Seattle. Plus the economy thing again... who is seriously going to pay to have their wedding planned if they're worried about losing their jobs? So that idea's on the backburner for now to dust off for later.

There are some interesting law job prospects that I'm seriously considering. I am definitely not completely tossing out that possibility. It will be fascinating for me to see what the new year brings.

The BEST Pulled Pork Sandwich

My mom used to make this amazing pulled pork. Turns out I can make something that tastes just as good using a crock pot and a whole lotta liquid smoke (which is not some nasty chemical -- it's the collected, distilled water they get from burning a bunch of hickory chips. So it's like charcoal-y water).

I gave some to an Army Sergeant from Arkansas. He loved it and said it reminded him of pulled pork you could get at a shack these black folks had run for generations way out in the middle of nowhere in Arkansas. Never have I recieved such a compliment! And a friend asked me for the recipe after trying it, so I'll share this with you too. Please, by all means, experiment with it and let me know what you come up with!

Heather's Not-So-Famous-But-Maybe-Should-Be Pulled Pork.
Ingredients:
1 nice Pork Shoulder (3-4 pound size)
1/2 bottle (5 ounce size) Hickory Liquid Smoke1
1/2 cup ketchup, divided
1/4 cup whole grain mustard
1 cup brown sugar
1 clove garlic, finely minced
1/2 teaspoon each: salt and pepper
Reserved broth
2 packages hamburger buns
Your favorite BBQ sauce (I like Jack Daniels original)
Couple dashes Worchestershire Sauce
Coleslaw to serve on the side
Mayo for buns

Directions:Place pork shoulder in a crockpot (fat side up) and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Add liquid smoke, 1/2 cup ketchup, spices, and mustard. Cover and cook on low 8-10 hours. Do NOT open the lid at all during the cooking process.

At 8-10 hours, check meat w/ meat thermometer and make sure it's done. Set aside to cool. Save juices from pot and separate broth from fat.
Mix in the reserved broth, 1 cup ketchup and brown sugar in medium bowl.
Pull the meat into shreds for the BBQ, using a fork if the meat's too hot. Place in pot on stove and pour the broth mixture over meat. Put in several generous squirts of BBQ sauce and a couple dashes of Worchestershire sauce. Stir it up till it's nice and warm. Serve on steamed (NOT toasted) buns, lightly coated with mayo on one side. Side of coleslaw is recommended.

Serve with love! (Love is the secret ingredient.)

INCREDIBLY Delicious: Cherry Tamarind Pork Tenderloin

As you probably know, pork tenderloin is the filet mignon of pork. But even a filet mignon can use a twist now and then. If you want a reasonably easy dinner that tastes remarkably high end, try my recipe that I invented last night.

I started with a 1.5 pound tenderloin, which is a little larger than the 100% perfect tenderloin should be, but ensures some delicious leftovers. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Next, take Tom Douglass's "Pork Rub" and rub the pork generously. Place pork in a square, glass baking dish. Next, take two cans of Oregon brand tart cherries. (NOT pie filling -- the cherries). Drain one can and set aside the juice. Use the cans of cherries to make a fabulous pie according to the recipe on the inside of the can, if you like. Take the drained juice from one can, and put in a sautee pan, along with one tbsp cornstarch, and 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon Tamco tamarind sauce, according to taste. Stir constantly over medium heat until sauce thickens, about 4 minutes. Once the sauce is thick, pour it over the tenderloin, making sure to cover the exposed skin. This keeps your tenderloin juicy. (Since it's incredibly lowfat, it has a tendency to dry out. This is also why to cook it at a higher temp for a shorter time rather than slowroasting it).

Pop the pork in the oven for about 30 to 40 min. Remove from oven when meat thermometer inserted into thickest part reads 145 degrees.

Enjoy your pork. My side dish was a green salad and Zataran's long grain wild rice. Start it right after you put in the pork and the timing should be about perfect. Surprisingly delicious. And with the pie... what an incredible dinner!

Happy cooking!